As a Health & Happiness Specialist™ I often get people coming up to me after my programs asking the same question over and over again .

“What do I do to be so happy?”

With a look of desperation, they ask me how is it possible for them to be happy, especially when there are so many negative people around them complaining or judging all the time.
I love this question because from years of trial and error, of making big and little choices, I know that happiness is a journey, it’s a conscious way of living and expressing your inner truth—freely and faithfully. My answer to this loaded question usually starts with a smile on my face, followed by a deep breath, and a sentence that starts with …”Well…” then another deep breath… and the rest of the sentence sounds like …”it’s a daily practice, a change in habit, a new way of seeing life. It boils down to the millions of little choices that we make along the way to dedicate to that practice.” I would sometimes receive a perplexed look on their faces with a “what are you talking about?” look, but other times I get asked more questions such as, “Yeah, but how can I do that knowing the people around me are not happy?” or “What can I do right now to start?” or “How can you help me?”. The simple answer to that begins with choices: the choices that we make, the choices that we are willing to abide by, and the choices that are willing to live and die for.

Our choices are the secret to happiness.

The “pursuit of happiness” is a choice and once you put your foot down, you literally create a magical path that will unfold before you. Being happy and being able to sustain it is a choice that carries with it tremendous responsibilities, reflections, and realization. When one chooses to be on this fantastic road, one has to be courageous, compassionate, and careful. Depending on the company that you keep, being happy can make you either accepted or isolated. Happiness is not something to take lightly, it’s something to hold so dearly that you are willing to do whatever it takes to experience and express it. Choice is one of the most forgotten secrets to happiness. Without choice there is no movement. Choice is the initial push that will pave the road to the desired destination.

Courage to let your happy self shine.

“Stick to your guns!”

Happiness requires courage because it’s a combination of many acts of authenticity, wonderment, empowerment, self-compassion, optimism, mindfulness, and enjoyment. Happiness is the fullest expression of who you are to everyone around you, and this state of being may or may not be welcomed depending on the group you are with. One has to “stick to their guns” in order to be in their own joyful state. In other words, it takes a great deal of courage to let your happy self shine in a room full of darkness. Happy seekers must learn to keep their mind-body-spirit intact in order to maintain their happy bubble from others who are quick to “burst” it. In fact, you will stick out like a “sore thumb” because there are many people who are in deep pain and do not know how to release it other than creating pain for others. It takes courage to be happy but it’s worth it. It’s worth it because it gives others the permission to be happy or at least find support in it.

Compassionate towards yourself, then others.

“Put the mask on yourself first, then the other.”

Happiness requires that you become compassionate towards yourself first, then others. “Put the mask on yourself first, then on others.” Stop the following: leaking all your mental-physical-emotional energies on those who will never be satisfied. Stop being the only one that takes care of things for everyone because you are a nice person and everyone is too busy to do it. Stop creating a co-dependent relationship because you think people need you and they will not survive without you. Simply stop and ask yourself if what you are doing is an unconditional act or is it an act that is conditional and will lead to resentment or irritability if you were not appreciated or acknowledged. Sometimes happiness means giving yourself “tough love” to make sure that you stay true to your promise.

Careful of the company you keep.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Jim Rohn’s quote above best describes this aspect of being happy. Being on the happiness journey means you need to be careful of the company that you keep—be discerning but not paranoid. That means be around like-minded people who share the same positive views without judgment. This will make you feel at home and safe to be your happy self. For some, it might be easier than others to do this, but it is possible. You can find like-minded people either around your community or online. There’s no need to feel isolated when you have the world at your finger tips.

3 R’s for Your Choice to Pursue Happiness: Responsibility, Reflection, Realization.

1. Responsibility– Know that you and you alone are responsible for you happiness. You are your own source for this and it is your responsibility to find creative ways to maintain it.
2. Reflection– Go back periodically to what went well in order to do more of it. Reflect on your growth and your goals. This is a time for refinement based on your reflections of your experiences.
3. Realization– Realize that you have the choice to decide on the “who, what, and where” that resonates with you on your happy path. On this path, you are the captain of your ship. You decide, based on this realization, who will join you and where you will go. This could mean relationships, clutter, space, job, diet, etc.

I hope you found this helpful to get you started on your path to happiness. You have what it takes to be happy. You are whole, complete, loving, and lovable. You as much as the next person is meant to be happy—no matter where you are and who you are with.
Always remember, happiness is not the destination, it’s a journey. One that will bring your more than you will ever know!
If you or someone you know needs support or coaching in ways to become happy or happier, please contact us at info@ultimatehealingjourney.com to learn about ways we can help you sustain you level of happiness.

“Choices determine the lines on our faces. Be it a frown that goes down or a wrinkle from your twinkle. Your choices create the grooves the path.” ~Debbie Lyn Toomey